Things have been somewhat quiet here on my blog because I have been dealing with a few things, which have been a little stressful to say the least. Life is full of rough patches, we all go through them, but this internal battle that I have had to secretly endure seems to have gotten the better of me. It’s been a long time coming and seems to come to head because I can’t suppress my feelings any longer, it isn’t healthy & it’s changing who I am.
Right now, I am at a cross road. I am concerned that if I continue down this path, that I will turn into someone I won’t like, that I will turn into my mother. My mother suffers with depression, bipolar or schizophrenia and a few other things. Because of her history, I am afraid of turning into her, hence why I try to be the opposite of her. The aliments my mother suffers from are genetic and since I am predisposed to it, I have a heightened awareness of myself & my feelings. After a friend nicely pointed out, how much I have changed, how my spark (which she absolutely loved about me) is gone, I decided it’s time to looking internally for a way to fix myself before it is to late.
Since our individual happiness comes from within ourselves, not from anyone else, that is where I should begin. I thought the 1st thing I should do, is to really think about myself and list 8 (since it’s my favorite number) things that I love about myself. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. I really took a long time with this and thought about myself back when I was a kid, as a teen, as a young adult, & now. What are some things that I love about myself, that I have always loved? What are some things that I love about myself now? These are just a few questions that I began asking myself. What about you, what are some things you absolutely love about yourself?
1. My head is always in the clouds….I am & have always been a dreamer….
2. Determined is my middle name….
3. I’m the mother I always wished I had….
4. Traveling is a part of my soul….
5. Proud to be a nerd….cause nerds have all the fun….
6. I’m a list girl….always making list in numerous notebooks around my house….
7. Music has always been a huge part of my life….plus it helps that I’m a pretty good singer….
8. I love my crazy side, which few have seen….
I know I am not alone, anyone else brave enough to share their journey of reconnecting with themselves? It is so important for us to support and encourage one another on this difficult journey. I am here if anyone needs an understanding ear or a friendly “you are not alone.” If you aren’t comfortable leaving a comment and want to contact me one on one please email me @ email@example.com.