Life Through The Lens: Cure For Sadness

The other day, I put some time aside and decided to write a great about me page.  I am not a very good writer, so it took me awhile to write it.  I concentrated on writing a little about myself as well as my blog’s mission and what I don’t my blog to become.  I put a lot of work into my page.  If you have time, please check it out.

Anyways, I wrote about my illness-condition-disease- what ever you call it but I am sick and will be for the rest of my life.  It could be worse I know but it takes a big toll on my family and I, dealing with what we deal with daily.  I wouldn’t have been able to get through as much as I did if I didn’t have such an amazing & caring husband & 5 awesome kids.  I wrote about how excited I was that I didn’t need to be hospitalized in 2013 at all (YAY me!!) and was hoping that 2014 was hospital  free, well overnight  free.  But that wish popped today…….of course I was sad & upset when the Dr told me the best option is for another surgery.  I have had around 10 (and no stretching I’m exaggerating it) or more over the last 10 yrs, tons & tons of testing (of all kinds), & numerous procedures done.

I left in tears, feeling like such a baby.  For over a month, close to two, I have been having back pain.  It started in front and moved to the back.  To make a long story short, I went to get checked after it wasn’t going away and has been so painful, it was effecting my life.  I thought I had a simple kidney infection, give me medicine, and on my way I would go.  But NOPE.  They did a CT scan and found kidney stones in my left kidney, one was 1.1cm and the other one was 1mm super small.  Today I went to see the Urologist and I find out that the stone is  a little bigger than it was last week (I had an x-ray done before my appt) and I have 7 1mm stone in my right kidney.  He looked at older reports and finds that I have had this stone in the same spot since 2011.  He said there are 3 options but the best one, the one he recommended was surgery with 1-2 nights overnight.  He told me about the surgery & having tubes put in & a stent in my kidney.  As I was walking out, I was so upset.  I know this isn’t a major medical thing but after how much I have been through it is very upsetting because I thought for sure no more hospital stays….After dealing with a chronic illness, hearing something like this is hard to take because I am afraid of what comes after……the pain…….the throwing up……..the extreme migraines for almost a week……..It’s just awful.  I live with pain almost everyday of my life.  I have learned to deal with it because I had no choice but to deal with it.  But the pain that comes after the surgery is overwhelming and I know what’s ahead.  And I’ve already got my date in 3 weeks on March 19th and hopefully I will recover fast.

At home, I told the kids and they were sad.  Alyssa decided the best way to fix that is doing a photo shoot with her and her cute faces.  She knows how much I like my pics and thought it would cheer me up.  She was exactly right because it did.  She’s such a cutey pie.  So what’s the best way to cure sadness, is having Alyssa as my daughter…….to have her care about her mother the way she did, at such a young age.  Don’t you agree, that’s the best cure?  What’s you cure for your sad times, your sadness?